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In today’s society, it would be beneficial for leaders around the world to consider the degree of environmental sickliness and the potential economic gains when making policies that effect global warming, and understanding that the two issues are not mutually exclusive. Flesh this out. A single sentence does not make an introductory paragra﻿ph. This isn't a thesis because it doesn't take a stand on the issue, and it's unclear what the paragraphs are going to be about theintro paragraph could be more of an "intro". discuss ideas from your background knowledge or talk about the effects of global warming from your knowledge. Your thesis is a little confusing, you could clean that up a bit. You should also include more background info about global warming and its most prevalent occurrences in this past decade <-- AP People like current events ;)

Global warming is a serious issue which threatens the earth, as it is the general rise in temperature of earth’s atmosphere, which dynamically alters the climate which has been similar for all of earth’s existence. Just in the 20th century, the world’s average surface temperature has risen one degree Fahrenheit. This is the fastest rate of temperature increase in any period over the past 1,000 years (Source A). Good Incorporation of Quote. The increase in temperature is primarily a product of unprecedented carbon dioxide emissions into the atmosphere because of deforestation and the burning of fossil fuels (Source A). As a result, it is predicted that in the near future there will be significant changes in the weather and more extreme climate events, which are potentially a sever ﻿﻿e threat. (Source E). Signs of such damage are already present today ﻿. T rees are blooming sooner and birds ﻿﻿are ﻿ laying eggs in the winter (Source F). Global warming has the earth on a dangerous downwards spiral towards environmental chaos, but action can be taken to start the restoration of ecological normality. Global warming is not irreversible, the protection and restoration of forests “may be able to offset up to 20% of carbon dioxide emissions over the next 50 years” (Source A). Because there is hope in nursing the earth back to health, it is vital to take action to do so. Leaders have the power to action in counteracting global warming, and therefore they withhold the moral obligation to do so. A leader is supposed to do what is best for his or her followers, and aiding the earth would help all future people, and therefore all followers. This paragraph reads more as though you are arguing how big the "environmental sickness" is as opposed to why that is something that the leaders need to consider when making policies. Remember that the prompt asks what the policy makers should consider, not whether or not global warming is a serious﻿ iss﻿ue. There's almost no analysis, you just keep using sources without explaining what can be done I agree with pink over here. I recognize no analysis or connection to your thesis.

A leader should consider, when taking a position on global warming, that taking action towards defeating it can be economically beneficial in the long run. As the prices of fossil fuel sharply rise, other sources of renewable energy are deep in research (Source C). Investing in companies who are attempting to create renewable energy would give the companies more financial resources to research with, and likely result in cheaper, cleaner energy sources faster. As fossil fuels are finite, it is only logical to encourage investment in other resources because the will be necessary. Some leaders in the past have been afraid to act on global warming because they have not wanted to jeopardize their popularity with a bad economy (Source E). Add more analysis before introducing the next quote. However, today, global warming has become so noticeable (ie: trees blooming earlier and ocean level temperature rising (Source B)) and widely acknowledged, that it is hard for a leader to outright ignore it and have his or her constituents not notice. Thus, a leader should not be afraid to invest economically because the leader’s constituents would understand the need, and generally want to help the environment, because doing nothing would cause frightening and unknown occurrences. This does a much better job of addressing what policy makers whould consider (and why) instead of looking solely at global warming being a real problem.

Contrary to popular belief, environmentally friendly and economically advantageous actions can easily coexist creating a win-win situation. Many people believe “it is an inescapable choice to choose between environment and economy, but environmental development often stems from economic development” and visa-versa (Source D). A leader would come across well rounded and knowledgeable if he or she took action to fight global warming because of the multidimensional advantages. The sky-high gas price today is an example which represents the world’s dire dependence on that which harms the environment, and also the unstable economic dependence on it (Source C). A simple investment in clean renewable energy would have a duality of success. The subsequent reparation of the environment would actually have a positive side effect of a stronger economy. Be sure to put something into this paragraph about how this is something policy makers must consider. The paragraph can easily be turned into an argument for the coexisting actions instead of a reason why those coexisting actions are something to be considered when creating golbal warming policies.

As helping the environment and economic gain are inevitably fused, it seems clear that a leader should make policies to reduce the effects of global warming because it is of boundless interest. Make this a paragraph, not just a sentence. If you ran out of time, that's understandable, but if we're going back and editing, you should flesh both this and the introductory paragraph out. Also, throughout this essay you have a tendency to overuse commas, so be careful of that. As far as analysis goes, you often sound more like you're giving opinion than analyzing sources.